See You Later Sissy

The telephone rang on Saturday, September 17.  It was my brother-in-law, Steve, with the latest update from the Hospice nurse on Julie's condition; her time to pass on was drawing very near.  It was estimated that she would would not make it through Monday.  

Murray and I quickly made airline reservations and flew to Salt Lake City the next day.  We drove to Tooele arriving at Julie's home at 4:00 PM.  I sat by her bedside holding her hand and wept as I expressed my love to her and told her all I have learned from her.

I watched her labored breathing, in and out, in and out but received no verbal response.  I did see her eyes moving under her eyelids in response to a question.  "Julie, do you want Steve to come in here now?  Move your eyes if you do"    That's when I knew she heard me.  Maybe I'm crazy, but that's what happened

We left Julie's at 9:00 for our hotel and a good night's sleep.  The next day, Monday, I called Steve to ask how is night had been.  His reply was, "everything is the same, the nurse just left after saying that her breathing has changed  and it will be sometime today".

We drove right to her house where I sat by her bed for the next 4 hours.  I held her hand, massaged lotion into her feet and trimmed her toenails and fingernails.  I wanted her to look just right when she gets to use this body once again. 

She took her last breath on Monday, September 19, 22011.  It wasn't dramatic but very peaceful.  I cried.  Just a little.  Not for Julie, but for myself.  I miss her sense of humor, her spunk and quick wit.  Heavenly Father is very merciful.  He took Julie quickly.  I feel it's a blessing for her, no more suffering with pain and nausea.  Pancreatic cancer is miserable I think I would rather someone take me out back and shoot me than suffer like she did.  

The Other Side Must Really Be Something

I've just returned from Utah where I spent 10 days with Julie.  When her husband, Steve, called 2 days after her surgery and asked if I could come out and help with her recovery I jumped at the chance.

I walked into her home and hugged her as tightly as I dared; not wanting to burst any of her stitches.  We quickly got down to business determining the schedule for the five medications she came home with.  By the next day Julie had developed a handwritten schedule and we were on a roll.   

Truthfully, she could've managed on her own after a day or two but she allowed me to administer medication because that's how Julie is;  she wanted me to feel useful.  I saw her in pain and suffer feelings nausea but I didn't hear her complain.  

Julie has graciously accepted the challenge Heavenly Father has placed on her shoulders, she is extraordinary and humble. 

Her family is blessed to have many friends who give the widow's mite in service and donations. 

One late afternoon we sat on her bed with our backs against the headboard as that's where she was most comfortable.  We talked of childhood memories and laughed remembering how our Dad made us go outside and pick up sticks in the wooded portion of our acre of land because he wanted us to learn the value of hard work.  We talked about plans for the very near future, possibly a trip to Disney Land early this autumn and yes, she's going to pull Emelie out of school for this family trip. 

I love that she wants to keep serving as Relief Society President and get back to her part-time job.  Her words to me were "I'm not going to lie down and die, I want to keep serving".

When it came time for me to head for the airport I slipped into her bedroom and found her asleep, yes those narcotics are wonderful!  I kissed her cheek, told her I love her. Her eyes popped open and we embraced.  She said, "Thank you, you've been the best care-giver I could ever ask for, I love you too".  As I left her room she smiled and waved goodbye.  I walked away quickly and felt the sting of tears in my eyes. 

I will forever remember my visit with Julie, Steve and Emelie.  I'm happy for the plan of salvation and the knowledge of eternal families.  I know we jumped for joy at the chance to gain a mortal body and come to earth, even with its share of rough trials.  Whatever is on the other side of this life must really be something and I look forward to learn all about it.

Ridin' in Memory of.....

Another local car ridin' in memory of someone they love.

Who are ridin' in memory of today?

I HATE BAD NEWS!

My heart is heavy for my sister Julie, she has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Even saying it out loud chokes me.  My mind races from one thought to another.  Her daughter, Emelie, is just 12 years old, such a tender age to lose your mother.

Her doctor told her she has 5-6 months.  The first couple of months she will lead a fairly normal life.  Then what?  Oh how I wish I could bear the pain for her.  That's what sisters are for, right?

I can't make sense of my thoughts; trying to see the silver lining.  Remembering that Heavenly Father's plan for Julie is playing out before our eyes.  Each of us will leave mortality for the spirit world and carry forth His work there.  The beauty of the plan of salvation.  Eternal families.

I'm conflicted.  Peaceful knowing what this is all about, crying just because... why?  I love Julie and will miss her peaceful testimony and sense of humor.  Emelie is a carbon copy of Julie and will forever be a reminder of her beautiful mother.

FIVE YEARS

Wonderful news, Murray made it five years without any sign of the colon cancer returning. His oncologist told us he is now considered "cancer free", statistically the cancer he had will not return.

I am feeling very grateful right now. I have a testimony of priesthood blessings and faith. Murray is such a blessing in my life. Heavenly Father is giving me more time to laugh with my best friend.

My New Title

I am so happy I achieved the title of CPhT. It will follow my name when I work as a certified pharmacy technician.
It took me 5 months, 17 credits and a lot of studying. I pulled this tired, old brain out of retirement and surprised myself by finishing with a 4.0.

The cherry on top - passing the national exam given by the Pharmacy Technician Certification Board.


Oh yeah, every day should be this good.

Emmy Oakley

Just a little something Emmy learned at Girl's Camp last week.

How to properly fire a M-4 rifle.

It's definitely a necessary skill now that she is dating. You know, it saves Dad the job of getting rid of boys that become a problem or the stinkin' deer that keep eating our bushes in the dark of night.

Yes, I'd say that the skills learned at Girl's Camp prepare her to be a take-charge kind of gal.

I Hope You Studied Well

A few weeks ago I went to the same-day surgery center for a small procedure. It wasn't the boob lift I've been dreaming about or the liposuction I could really use. It was for a bone spur removal and reattachment of achillies tendon.

Surgery was scheduled and two weeks later I walked into the surgery center feeling some trepidation. I asked Murray to write a little note to the doctor in a place that he'd be sure to see it. On the back of my left calf just above the location of the impending incision where all my nervous fear centered he wrote "I hope you studied hard in med. school"

Dr. Donato was the best. He even assured me that he did study hard at school.

I am able to walk on the foot now albeit a little slowly. You know, 2 weeks of non weight-bearing activity left me with the feeling my left ankle and foot aged 100 years. I voiced my disappointment with the slower-than-I-expected recovery. Murray replied with "well, you are 50 now".

I still love him.

While at the Grocery Store

"We're going to run in Wegman's for a few things before we go home."

"Mommmm, hurry I have homework to finish."

We were on a mission to pick up some vegetable oil, brown sugar, sliced ham, sliced sharp cheddar cheese and milk. I love Wegman's, it's as big as 2-3 football fields and full of great food.

Every aisle has something I've never seen before. Like this.

I'll be sure to look for something new and different next time. If it makes me laugh it just might make it on my blog.

Dear Jimmer

Dear Jimmer,

My Beloved squeeze has devoted the college basketball season to watching you and now has a dreadful case of Jimmer Fever.

As the season began the fever was manageable. Watching a game would cause the fever to spike with a low-grade temperature. An ice cold diet coke served with chips and onion dip helped bring the fever down.

But not for long. He began spending his time browsing the internet searching for any and all reports, replays, photos and rankings he could find.

The fever began to spread. He inserted a comment about you in his everyday dealings with coworkers, he likened scriptures to your skills on the basketball court. Everyone was catching the Fever.

Look at the bright side. My local grocery store, Wegman's, is making a bundle on Beloved's insistance that you will play better when he has snacks, treats, sodas and popcorn available while he and his favorite Feverettes work up a sweat watching you.

So a couple of times a week our version of LaVell Edwards Stadium in our basement plays host to the BYU Cougars but most of all it's you he wants to see.

I won't go so far as to call it a bro-mance, but it's pretty close. He absolutely loves the time he spends watching you and the Cougars play. So, thanks for giving him a great season and carry on 'cause you are doing great missionary work. How many basketball fans are now aware of the Mormon Church and BYU because they know about you?

I know you will be giving him back soon, the Jimmer Fever will subside and he will be somewhat lost and not sure what to do with his free time. Rest assured it's just temporary because Bronco Mendenhall is coming right up.

Google Is On My List

, you are on my list.


Let me explain. For the last two generations the Duff family has used the "Australian Hand Grip" as a quick, effective motivator for non-compliant children. They fell victim to the painful consequence when they didn't get off their rear end when invited/axed/told/ordered to do so.

BEND THE PALM DOWN TOWARDS WRIST, STOP JUST SHORT OF BREAKING THE WRIST.

Last week one of those children wanted more information on the cultural history behind this devilish torment. She "googled" the term only to find no results. Scratching her head she typed "Australian Hand Grip" in the search window a second time. Still no results.

Then it dawned on her THERE.IS.NO.SUCH.THING.AS.THE.AUSTRALIAN.HAND.GRIP!!!

On the day of her great discovery she blurted out during dinner "Dad, I thought you and Grandpa were so smart and sophisticated; that you knew things about other countries and cultures. There is no such thing as the Australian hand grip! I googled it!

We laughed so had I thought we would wet our pants right there at the dinner table. We thought she knew it was a fictional form of abuse.

Dad confessed it was something Grandpa made up a long time ago. It was effective on him as a boy so he implemented the grip on his own kids.

So Google, you have disappointed me this time. I'll be back to use your search engine but will always remember how the pedestal was swiftly pulled out from underneath Dad and Grandpa in her eyes.

SP0IL3D

My life has been made easier by a simple gift my daughter received on Christmas morning.

I was hesitant at the first discussion about this possibility. But I can not lie, I have been dreaming of the day I can turn in the cab driver's hat and no longer be "on call" to transport her to Timbuktu and back daily.

She began talking about it when she was 15 years old. She didn't even get a whole sentence out before I stopped her dead in her tracks, "not a chance, ain't going to happen". I thought it would be the same for her as it was for the girl before her.

But I'm a slow learner. Our circumstances are different, early-morning Seminary isn't held at her high school like it was for the girl before and her parents are slightly older and tired by 8:00 PM these days.

The thought was becoming more appealing as the months went by. More pleading and promises of responsibility and something about a bedroom staying neat and clean were spewed out of her beautiful lips. Hands clasped in front of her chin, words of adoration and love accompanied the supplication.

If we played this right, we could really get a lot out of the deal. But wait, was I really going to change my initial feelings? I think I was beginning to like the idea. I could see all kinds of benefits with this arrangement. So we decided to go for it.

We were on a mission to find just the right one. I must be the right size, the best color, oh... it must have certain options. It's the only one we will buy for her so it must be as sound as a bell. The price has to be just right; not too much because Mommy needs new shoes.

The purchase was made before Thanksgiving day and stored at an undisclosed location. We checked on it a couple of times a week. Yes, it was still where we left it, still in pristine condition.

Finally Christmas eve arrived, after our traditional activities we ordered the girls to bed. This is where the fun begins. M left the house at 11:30 PM in 22 degree weather walked across the street and through the neighbor's yard, tip-toed across the golf course and through another neighbor's yard then retrieved the gift and came home.

The excitement was building, the girls were fast asleep and no one was the wiser. Our plan was coming together.


Christmas morning was all but finished when M pointed to a spot by the window drape and asked E "what's that thing by the window"? She bent down to reveal a small pink pouch and before handing it to M she looked inside and saw a key.

Things were not totally making sense to her at this point. Could it really be true? They told me it was never going to happen, I. WAS. NOT. GOING. TO. GET. A. CAR. What is going on? Dad is walking me out to the driveway. O! M! G!!!!!!

It was a complete surprise to her. And truth be told a good decision.

Let me know if you want a copy of the Driving Agreement that we instituted. Read aloud and signed by Dad, Mom and E.

BTW the plates say SP0IL3D